JT and I went to a party tonight. He coaches a 16 and under soccer team. They are wonderful boys and love him a lot. They all signed this really fancy soccer ball for him and got him a gift certificate. Yeah, he got thrown in the pool, but it took all sixteen of them to do it. He's the cool coach now, I told him. (The other coach is his best friend.)
My best friend came over and we cleaned my entire room and closet. It's a wonderful feeling. I had all of my college stuff cluttered around, collecting dust on my countertops, containers and plastic drawer sets EVERYWHERE. Somehow she found a space for everything and I feel so liberated! You don't understand, for as unmotivated as I was about cleaning it, having a messy room was so debilitating. It really didn't feel like home. That's a major milestone, because now I can workout in my room! Hooray! If this doesn't make sense to you, that's because you must know I live with my parents. Yes, I did the one thing I promised never to do: moved in with my parents after I graduated.
That's probably the biggest reason that finding a job has been so frustrating. I get along with my parents great. They've gotten a little less strict about the rules, especially since my middle brother is home from college now. I guess being home all day and being with JT all evening and night has put a strain on our relationship. My dad's a doctor, and didn't understand why I couldn't find a job immediately. What he failed to realize, however, is that we live in one of the worst cities for new graduates. Pretty much if you're not some kind of doctor, lawyer, or teacher, there isn't a place for you. His eyes are opened, though. It helps that he knows I really am trying hard.
I am pretty much obsessed with checking the websites for openings. I've sent my resume' everywhere imaginable. The truth is, I really don't know what to do. It might help if I had a specific direction or goal, but I don't. So far I've applied for public relations/marketing jobs, pharmaceutical sales, technical writing, and editing jobs. I am good at working with people, writing, and editing. That encompasses a lot of different areas, right? See, I'm different from most English majors because I'm not limited to a creative niche; I absolutely love math and science, too. I'm just a nerd all around! What I really want is a job that pays more than a teacher that I will enjoy doing, and that CHALLENGES me. My heart tells me that my true purpose in life is to have children. Lots of them. Now, that's not going to happen for a long time, but I'd like to find something that's flexible enough for me to do at home or with special hours.
I'm a smart girl, I'll admit. I love learning how to do new things. I love seeing changes and improvements in myself. But what matters most to me and how I feel most fulfilled is serving and benefiting other people. One of my dream jobs is to start a magazine that focuses on older adolescent girls and gives them the kind of support and advice and encouragement that most girls don't have when they are on the brink of womanhood. This could also be accomplished through writing novels about that demographic! My second dream job would involve opening a business, a corner bakery or coffee shop, perhaps. Something where I am exposed to a regular trickle of customers in whom I can invest my time and talents. I want to serve Lisa from Lubbock who likes hazelnut mocha coffees and blueberry scones. I want to learn about her OCD and how she's repainted her living room three times because of her quirks. Until then, I need a job that pays my bills and won't drive me crazy.
Does anyone know what I can do like that in the meantime?